It took me some 7 years to revisit my blog. The prime reason for this revisit is one of my resolutions of getting back to writing. This writing is 'free', and 'unbound'. At the same time, I want the readers to relate with me, and learn something along with me. I promise not to disappoint you. There comes a time in our life where we reflect on our decisions, friends, achievements, and everything that we have lived through. If this happens to you often then things are about to change. I got into this mode of reflection some three years ago, and I see my life changing at a slow pace. Now I am working on my 'other me', and I see a big difference.
Questions like: Where am I in my life now? Did I vision myself like this? Can I change my position? What could I have done differently then? And what must I do now?
Until my PhD I was a different person, one who believed in improvising everyday. I was regarded as one of the hard working PhD scholar in my department. There were issues like changing department, working without the stipend for three years but I did not quit; thanks to my parents. Finally, I submitted my thesis in 2012. Years of working under stressful conditions had totally changed my perspective towards life. I doubt if I really had one! I wanted a break after thesis submission. Then Aadhya entered in my life. I started growing as a mother but stopped growing in the other dimension. I was a post-doc fellow at University of Bath from 2013 - 2016. When Aadhya was 4.5 months old, I took up the position. So I was again working under stress, fighting against he guilt of leaving my little one at a day care, extracting milk in a secluded room in my department, the hormones astray, and exhausted all the time! Yet I worked but that could not translate as expected. Why?
Okay, so this happens with mostly all new mothers. But what I realize now is that I did not have a plan before signing up for motherhood and post-doc. If I had one, things would have been different. I had a strong will for PhD, and I worked really hard towards it. After graduating in 2012 and until 2019, i.e. for 7 years I was doing things because I got them, not because I had planned for them. But Aadhya remains my best and choicest blessings from the Universe. But I forgot the other aspect of my personality apart from being a mother. I forgot to nourish that other dimension of mine simply because I had no plan whatsoever.
A humble request to mothers and ladies who are not mothers/single - do not forget to nurture that other you who dwells within you. Take out time and keep doing things that will 'better' you, develop you. Ultimately you become what you think. Let us not restrict to a gender, or a role, but to an individual, female or male. We all have that other part of us that helps us navigate through our life while we are playing a role of mother, father, daughter, son, wife, husband, and so on.
Let that other you be engaged. Basically that other you will define the kind of life you will live. Always have the reins of your life in your hands. Be disciplined, and never stop working on yourself.
If you ask me what describes me best? - Mother or a Professional? My answer will be - mother. I take immense pride in being a Mother.
We all spend so much time proving ourselves in a particular role that we forget to 'other I or other me'. The end result is we are unhappy. And no one else can make you happy but yourself. It is rightly said that the solution to your problem is within you. Nobody knows you better so nobody can make you feel better.
Hereafter, I will share my experiences, my thoughts on books that helped me grow, my workouts that made a difference, and many interesting anecdotes that are constantly changing me.I have subscribed for life-long learning. Are you?
Thanks,
Trupti
