It was Wednesday evening…midday
of the week. This is the day with mixed feelings. Monday is gone, Tuesday is gone.
Thursday and Friday to come! So it is exactly the middle day of the working
week. Happy about half the week has passed and weekend awaited eagerly. At work
it was not a hectic day but strenuous though. There are some days when you feel
something is wrong about this day…no reasons, no explanations. Took a bus to
the station with Emilly Griffin’s Baby Proof and wanted to finish with it. A long queue for the bus, could see dark
clouds clustering but sun peeping through some. In England, mostly it gets
sunny after office hours. The weather is predictably unpredictable. Rain and
sun play hide and seek and we are helpless left with no choice rather than
enjoying this. A girl ahead of me with burgundy coloured hair was actually
pepping the gloomy weather. She was on her phone speaking to someone about how
exciting her day was and that really annoyed me. A blonde behind was hopefully
speaking to her BF about her sport venture and how she plans to go running
after reaching home. A group of boys in their jerseys and shorts discussing
about Chelsea and I was sure they were football lovers. In all everyone had a
happening day perhaps me! I buried my face in the book and last 2 pages-woosh
woosh....done with the book. It feels very nice when you finish reading a book
almost like you have achieved your goal. It gives you a sense of
accomplishment. The bus arrived and I packed the book in my Jhola. I was not
hopeful about getting a place on the bus but luckily got a seat. With no clue
about what to do I stared staring through the windowpane. It started raining. I
wonder how once upon a time as kids we all loved rains and now it only reminds
us of inconvenience. The burgundy hair lasso was seated beside me. She took her
headphones out and tucked it in her ears. That reminded me of my headphones
which I seldom carry as I prefer reading. I too tucked in my headphones almost feeling
like a copy cat!
My playlist is not even updated
and has all old songs with very few new Bollywood songs. I shuffled the
playlist and played the music. The very first song was ‘Naam Gum Jayega’ – a very
touching and meaningful song. Remembered how Papa told me today about the
demise of one of my cousin who wasn’t very close to me but I always enjoyed
talking to her..a very distinct way of taking and cracking jokes she had…Naam
Gum Jayeg, Chehra yeh badal jayega meri aawaz hi pehchaan hain…beautiful,
melodious. I couldn’t forget Sadhna (my cousin) throughout this song. I did
make a notice that the bus was on the move after checking in everyone. Students
standing and chatting, I could only see their lip moments but I was in the
middle of this beautiful song. The song ended and the bus too stopped at a
stop. Ek Pyar ka Nagma hain…maujo ki ravani hain was the next song. Couldn’t
stop myself thinking about Ms Nanda (actress) from this song as she recently
passed away. Jindagi aur kuch bhi nahi…teri meri kahani hain. How true,
everyone has a Kahani to tell, Sadhna too had. Unfortunately she is no more to
narrate her kahani. Sadhna’s death news was what made me sad today. She died at
a young age with two kids behind. My heart goes out for her kids and right now
very annoyed with God’s decision of snatching her away from her kids…so rude,
unfair. Anyway the next song was Zindagi ke Safar mein gujar jaate hain jo
makaam…and the bus stops at the next stop. The burgundy haired girl walks out
of the bus and the seat is taken by a tall boy who has his ears pierced and
with tattoos all over his hands and neck. I am back to my song…Phool khilte
hain, Log milte hain, Pathzad mein jo phool murzha jaate hain who baharon ke
aane se khilte nahi…it perfectly suited Sadhna’s story. After her husband’s
death life was never same for her but still she always smiled. Kuch log ek roz
jo bichad jaate hain who hazaron ke aane se milte nahi…and yes Sadhna will
never come back and perhaps I too should stop thinking about her. She has gone
on an eternal journey where she will probably be the happiest. The next song
came as a surprise – Mere Sapno ke raani kab aayegi tu....and I was moving my
neck rhythmically with the song. I was least bothered if others were seeing me,
after all music is to enjoy-set your mind free. I was smiling imagining Rajesh
Khanna and the shy, dimply Sharmila Tagore. With this song playing I reached
the train station. I thanked the Driver and stepped out. The train had already
arrived on the platform and I rushed in before the doors closed. With the train
whistling in the song I just couldn’t smile at the coincidence of being in a
train with this song. I enjoyed it, loved it…felt like doing a jig like Rajesh
Khanna but controlled. The next song was Hoga tumse pyara kaun humko toh tumse
hain…another train song and I laughed. Noticed passengers looking at me but to
save myself from embarrassment looked out of the door pane. It was beautiful
outside. Drizzling, lush green mountains – the patch between Bath Spa and Bristol
is amazingly beautiful. Kehte ho ke jaye lekin yeh batlao..jaye bhi toh jaye
hum kahan..Beautiful sentence. I love this song more than the Chaiyya Chhaiya.
Padmini Kolhapure and Rishi Kapoor’s love is so serene and pure. The next song
and rather the last song as the station is approaching. I have to pick A from
the nursery. I am excited to see her. Hanste Hanste kat jaye raste…jindagi yun
hi chalti rahe…what a meaningful song again. This is life. Smiles and tears,
Happiness and Sorrows are a part of life. A rose is beautiful with thorns, a
life with happiness and sorrows is a life lived, after a tear comes the smiles,
with darkness comes light, with life comes dreams and hopes. Whatever happens
is bound to happen. It is better to leave it and move ahead. I didn’t leave Sadhna
but I moved on. I had my rest of the day waiting for me. My daughter waiting
for. I reach her nursery and the moment I see her…my baby smiles and crawls
towards me…the song continued…hothon se bijli chamke jab, jab tu muskati hain, saare hasino
se hasin tu ho jati hain…I packed her bag and off we were to our happy home….
R.I.P Sadhna – you will always be remembered as a woman
who wore an innocent smile with a wounded heart….
