My Choice - with a pinch of salt and dash of humour!

Apologies for bringing this stale topic again but I wanted to share this with you all. Well, there is enough being talked, written and discussed about Ms Padukone and her choices! I have such a busy schedule that I didn’t even watch that video ‘My Choice’ completely – Why I didn’t watch? Undoubtedly it is my choice. 

Only when this whole controversial ad campaign is dying its own death, I got a call from my Aunt who has a daughter in teens. Luckily the day being a weekend, I was delighted to see her name flashing on my mobile; she is someone who is very chatty and lights up anybody’s mood with her sane and insane chats.

‘Hello Aunty, hope doing good and so good to have you on phone’, I say with a grin that she can’t see indeed.

Aunty was in no mood to accept my greetings and jumped on to this stale topic again. She questioned, ‘Did you watch Deepika’s video about My Choice?’ 

I replied gloomily, ‘It must be a rage in India but not in the UK. People here have already had these choices from ages than Deepika had!’

Aunty definitely was unhappy with my answer and was boiling from within. She took a deep breath in and started, ‘Coming to the topic, your cousin Meeta who has gone insane after watching this video. Rather all those people whom I have encountered for past few days have gone insane.’

‘Please explain’, was my reaction. Aunty is just like Rajdhani Express, impossible to stop. I am not a master in Physics but moment of inertia could be related to her – you can’t stop Rajdhani express and you can’t stop Aunty, you try to stop them and you will have it on your face.

Meeta has declared that from today she is not going to the gym, will stop eating healthy and also has ordered roadside french fries and onion bhajjis! After seeing me going mad, she calmly lifts her shoulders says, ‘My Choice’! She doesn’t care about her weight anymore, who will marry her? She weighs 110 kilos! Her face is filled with ugly pimples. She then continued, ‘I wasn’t even done with Meeta, another storm jolted me. Lata our domestic help came to me with some demands; she wants a manicure per month to nourish her dry hands after doing all the household chores, a headphone to listen to music while working and a break with some snacks & tea in front of the TV. I gazed her with such anger and she tying her hair and with cold eyes said, Meri Marzi!!! Without replying, I left the room and went to the hall. Squatted in a corner and held my head with my hands.’ 

I hadn’t even swallowed this list of Lata’s choices, Maa came in. Usually she is calm but today she wanted to play a rocking mother-in-law. She declared that she is going trekking to the Himalayas with all middle aged women from our society, very well aware of the fact that she just had a knee replacement surgery. As she knew I wouldn’t dare to question her, she tucked her pallu and said, ‘I too have an identity and can decide’, in short – my choice!

And the cherry on the cake was Jiffy, our (female) dog didn’t want to eat her normal chapati-milk. Her friend Bruno from the neighborhood probably has chicken tikka every day.  Now, how should I explain that a pure vegetarian Jain family like us cannot serve her with chicken tikka but she too has her choice now! 

She then very sadly said, ‘How I wish, Hemamalini or Jeenat Aman should have done a video campaign like this that could have given some experience you see. Women from our generation feel so down-market after seeing this video, don’t we have any choices?’ 

I could really feel Aunty’s frustration and tried to calm her but she was inconsolable.  She said, 'Trupti, I have no choice than living with these choices, only if Ms Padukone lives a day of my life, she will understand the impact of her video’.

Without expecting an answer from me, she disconnected the call. Period.

Clearing my throat, though I was a bit bored by all this, frankly what could I have done? Everyone only has taken a wrong meaning of that video without really trying to know what is right and wrong for them. Truly, one Ms Padukone cannot educate you about your choices, it is you who has to dig out the pros and cons of your decisions and be ready to handle the outcome. Some of her choices make sense but some don’t, it boils down to us if we want to follow those or have our own choices crafted. 

To all of us, we first need to thoroughly know our basic rights, our limits, our strength and weaknesses, only then can we make choices rather than supporting pseudo-feminism and blindly following it.

I kept the phone on the table and was about to leave for the kitchen to make some breakfast for everyone, my phone beeped then. It was a message on whatsapp: 

What does a spider entangled in its own web say? 

‘Majhe web-majhi choice’, which in English means – (My web – my choice)

Phew!!! Enough of Meeta, Lata, Maa, Jiffy and now a spider…I would rather pack them all and courier them all to Ms Padukone’s address!

Please leave a comment as your comments and feedbacks help me to improve and encourage to write more :-)

To my Aadhya - with Love

To my Aadhya – with Love

My little bundle of joy and sunshine,

Most priceless possession you are of mine,

The day when I learned you were planted in my womb,

Happy I was to know that a life was to bloom.

Those scans were most impatiently waited,

That was my only chance to see you indeed.

Those little heart beats spoke volumes to me,

Questioning, ‘Mum are you listening to me?’

Radiologist declared, ‘Congratulations it’s a GIRL’,

I really wanted to do a swirl,

It never mattered how bloated I looked,

But you were happily growing was the only truth.

One fine night you took me on a painful journey,

It Will always be an everlasting memory,

And that next day my arms carried you,

Every single emotion was pious and true.

You came as a blessing in my life,

Happily promoted me to Mum from wife,

Every little thing done by you,

Makes me feel so proud of you,

Many magic moments we will live together,

Weaving a bond deeper and stronger,

May you be bestowed with courage and strength,

And fight against odds with a shining edge.

I wish you luck in every endeavour,

You won’t always win is to remember,

Don’t ever give up in what you believe,

Keep trying is the key to succeed.

If ever you fail and feel upset,

Don’t forget! There is a clear sky after a spell of wet.

Be yourself with immense dignity,

Nothing should ever disturb your integrity.

Love every one and be kind,

May you be loved by one and all,

Nothing else matters to me,

My daughter is my pride!

I don’t want to think of that day when I have to let you go,

But I want you to evolve as a ‘woman’ and much more,

One thing my honey you always remember,

Your Mum will love you ever and forever!!!

Happy second birthday 🎂 my baby Aadhya...Aai and Papa love you a lot.

Beti bachao, beti PADHAO and in general

For innumerable reasons I have always found this topic very close to my heart. I relate more perhaps because I myself was a girl child and now bloomed into a woman. Taking this opportunity to thank our PM Narendra Modi ji for this initiative. A country that realises a strength of woman, trusts in her ability has a potential to become a successful nation and if India has realised this then it is on right path.

In a country where Sita decided to accompany her husband in exile clearly demonstrates the freedom of thinking and decision making women had at that time. Women weren't only supposed to bore children and look after household. Great heroism shown by Jhansi ki Rani who proved that a son isn't needed to inherit kingdom or carry a baton of family name. There are many many such women of Indian soil who have proved their abilities with time. The making of Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj is because of his beloved mother Jija Mata. She was the one who narrated stories to him, inculcated discipline in his life. Not only in battles and wars but being a dutiful mother has created some heroes in our history.

India being invaded and ruled by conservative Mughals for a long time has a diverse culture. North India for instance has always been under attacks and women being vulnerable targets, family or in general men had to protect women. One of the reasons North Indian weddings are conducted in nights, which is a custom now was probably for security purposes and were secretly conducted then. The beautiful carvings on many Hindu temples are bold enough to illustrate that artists had free mind and liberty to carve bold sculptures illustrating intimacy between man and woman. I am sure that kind of freedom must have been prevailing in those times and artists have exactly carved what they saw! In all I would like to summarize that we Indians had gender equality in many ways and never had a conserved approach towards women. 

For a life to be born it needs a womb and a woman provides it. Clearly, a woman is origin of life and a man can't dare to imagine what it takes to bear labour pains and bring a life in this world. That pain, determination, risk and challenge is not a cup of tea for men! One of the reasons why women are in such a neglected state on my fronts is probably because they themselves are unaware of their capabilities. Due to social pressures she also is forced to desire for a male child that will keep her family happy and her place secure. I have come across many hypocrite pregnant women who want a son. How on earth a woman doesn't want to even think about a possibility of carrying a girl child? Probably she hasn't had a dignified upbringing as a girl is my understanding or she doesn't have self esteem. Some also have a reason that life of a girl in India is very insecure and having a girl adds to extra responsibility but imagine if everyone only had boys and no girls, how would life sustain? Instead all boys and no girls is a more depressing and frustrating situation.

To all those who think a girl is less than a boy then I would like to say them that I am a woman and I feel no less. I am confident, I am smart, I am aware of my capabilities and not a burden on anyone. This was only possible because my parents never discriminated between me and my brother. They believed in educating me. And it is not about me but I know many friends and women out there who are much able and smarter than their contemporary men.

A sapling requires lot of care till it grows into a big tree with roots deep and stands confidently on its own for ages. Nurture your girl child with immense care, good education, teach her to be confident and she will make you proud one day! Don't think about insecurities involved with a girl child, remember everyone is insecure in some or the other way. Change is what you want to see so be a change first..who knows you might have followers...

                            Beti agar padhegi toh saksham banegi aur kisipar bojh nahi banegi

            This post is dedicated to all Women - Believe in yourself, you are allowed to dream

A memorable place - Amadeus

There have been very few instances when I have been to a pub and after Aadhya, it almost is impossible to mange a peaceful lunch or dinner. On my recent trip to Ghent, Belgium we all colleagues went out for dinner to a place named Amadeus, which is famous for Ribs! Being a vegetarian this place was no good for me and I was hesitant but I stepped in and fell in love with the interiors. Lovely lighting that created a perfect ambiance. Sharing some pics with you all

do you see those tins? they are used to dispose the ribs/bones!

lovely pottery, lamps make a fine dinning hall

my personal favourite

ahh!! beautiful...lovely contrast

I had to be happy with a Burger but enjoyed clicking all these little and bright beautiful lamps. The pictures probably don't do justice but the place was indeed BEAUTIFUL...not for food but I would like to visit again to see if anymore additions to the lamps...

Happy New Year 2015 - Let's Welcome together

Beep beep my phone rings,

Happy New Year 2015 – my friend pings,

Wish you the same as I reply,

Does time has wings to fly?

2014 – it is time to bid you good bye,

In this coming new year,

Let us be courageous

Let us be strong,

To stand against odd and wrong

Let us have some peace,

Let us have positivity,

Peace in US can bring peace in world.

Let us gain heap of confidence,

And be sane,

World needs a perfect balance of them.

At last but not least,

Let us be honest, kind, caring and humane,

After we die this is what will remain!

Let us promise that we will care for nature,

Say no to plastic, reduce, reuse and recycle is better,

An eco-friendly lifestyle saves our planet from disaster.

Let us all spread love and laughter,

It has been awful to live in terror,

Live and let live other

Year 2014 has been a mixed bag,

Erase those worst, dirty moments umpteen,

Let us join hand and welcome,

Happy New Year – 2015

Chocolaty and Christmasy 'Belgium'...

What comes to your mind when you read Belgium on the map? The immediate answer would be Belgian Chocolates! Indeed very famouus for wafles with various toppings, rich chocolates and again rich culture. I don't claim that I know Belgium but two cities that I saw are Ghent and Brussels, enough to give me an impression about the richness of this country. Very famous for its Gothic architecture apart from chocolates.

Recently I had an opportunity to visit University of Ghent with my research group. We couldn't thank enough to Rob for booking an accomodation in central Ghent. If it was not for this visit, I would have never realised that Christmas+Belgium are such a beautiful combination. Christmas lights, hot wafles, local markets and such lively ambience...I fell in love with Ghent! 

Belgium succumbed to mammoth Germany in the second world war and that is the reason why those beautiful Gothic structures were saved from destruction unlike London that was completely destroyed due to bombing. A war is never good for any country and never an penultimate solution for any problem! Not going into those details let's get some flavour of Belgium.

The language spoken is Flemish, which sounds like a mixture of French, German and Dutch. Only half an hour apart, it was surprising to see that Dutch is widely spoken in Ghent whereas French in Brussels - what a diversity! But I quite liked this diversity that adds so much to the richness of Belgium. 

 Famous Tower of Ghent and there is anew interesting torcher museum in this tower.

 In the midst of classic Gothic architecture there are modern shops and yes ready to welcome Santa!

 These two guys striked a cord of beautiful music amalgamating in crisp winter afternoon...

 A walk in the city, perfect lights and a perfect photo

 Christmas market with local shops and yes Tram runs through the city...very much a part of day to day life.

 Chilly night and a walk along the canal couldn't have been more beautiful...

 One more click along the canal, clear water and floating reflection of those buildings..aah lovely sight

 One more along the canal...No special settings on my camera, it naturally made an awesome pic

 Walking under these decorative chimes makes you feel royal :)

 Glitter everywhere declaring that Christmas is just round the corner!

 Another classic picture with perfect lights

 What a beautiful church!

 The same church but an early morning view from my Hotel room window

 Lovely woven carpets probably. I saw a lot of these in Ghent and Brussels

 Collection of stamps and coins and many little precious things

This is a Court in Ghent

 Jingle bells...Jingle Bells...

 Christmas is coming....

 A very beautiful piece of Gothic art!

 Local market with lots of woollen hats...which one do you like?

 It is winter...right? But this old man knows that winters+rain+wind= sturdy umbrella is required!

 Again a beautiful bright Christmasy decoration

 Wafle anyone? Well don't eat this, click a photo!

 Polar bears are getting ready to make a cozy cottage for winters

 Rudolf the red nose Reindeer...wait but this one is an illuminated Reindeer

 I suppose these are some Greek monuments...Greek gods..are they?

               Little precious things again

 This statue reminded me of my daughter...mother and her child, so precious

A day time click along the canal,day and night have their own importance and beauty.

Christmas tree...makes everything look perfect

So much of brightness, I couldn't adjust a contrast on my phone camera...this is all what Christmas is about...lights...

Hang on Mr Patel's shop is here...:)

White Christmas tree...whole city has donned white and red

               Onions...they look beautiful like pearls in your kitchen

Baby potatoes being cooked in sauce...Wait! this is not for Vegetarians

          Such a lovely gesture outside a Bar

      Do I want to go away from these lights?

It isn't any festival if Children don't have fun...they make everything special..what would you like to ride on?

         Awesome....

Christmas market with modern little shops set up in between these mammoth Gothic architecture...gives a different feel...Best of both era's

Ganapati Bappa Morya...he is waiting for Santa to arrive :)

I went mad clicking anything and everything but literally this anything and everything is what Christmas market was all about.

Signing out with a hope that you all will love these pics and a mini drive through this Christmas market. Enjoy and see you all in my next post...Dank U, Merci!!!